I had several shots this semester that I didn't take for one reason or another. Most of these shots were missed because of poor lighting, a few, because of poor timing. My most memorable missed shot was of a fire at night, with both of these as obstacles. A picture of a fire at night would have been a beautiful but difficult exposure. Looking back now, I realize that I really had nothing to lose. I know that the picture I regret not taking the most, I missed because of fear.
I was on my way to the in-laws, leaving Eagle Mountain and passing the south side of the Camp Williams firing range. From 73, I could see the rising black smoke not far from the road. I didn’t know at the time, but it was the beginning of the fire which swept from Camp Williams to Herriman. It wouldn’t be until my return trip that night that I would realize the scope of the fire, nor the opportunity I would miss.
I was coming north along I-15 and it was now dark. Rounding the bend between American Fork and Lehi, I looked to the west and saw it. Sweeping over the far mountains was the fire I had seen hours earlier. This time, however, I could see more than just the black smoke billowing into the sky. Against the dark sky I could now see the bright amber flames. At first it seemed out of place from where I had seen it before. As I came closer, I realized just how far and fast the fire had moved. It was now cresting the mountain, heading for Herriman.
Though I had my equipment on hand, with the exception of my tripod, I didn’t stop to take an exposure of what I saw. Regrettably, the setting was too intimidating for my skill level. The lighting would have been the greatest obstacle; I would only want to capture the glow of the fire, requiring a long exposure for which I had nothing to stabilize my shot with. Then there was the fact that I was on the freeway without an ideal place to stop and even make such an attempt. Along with me were my sleeping children who, as a parent that values her sanity, I didn’t care to disturb. Next to me was my husband who was determined to get home quickly and, as he was the one behind the wheel, I was obliged to go along with his plan.
This missed opportunity made me look at my attitude and realized that the worst that could have happened was that my picture didn't turn out. The best however would have been that I had some beautiful picture of that fire. No matter which way it had turned out I would have learned something. I realized that without taking risks I won't ever become a better photographer. I can’t let the fear of an occasional failure inhibit my potential of success.
There are several shots I have missed, but this one I missed because of my fear of failure. I was able to learn from this and gain courage for the future. Whatever the photographic challenge might be, I’ll take my chances. Next time I will capture my glowing night fire, cloud covered sunset, or mist filled forest, whatever my next demanding exposure may be.
